Barack Obama: A Picture of Conservatism in Action

If conservatives seek someone to illustrate to the nation their glorious vision of bootstrap freedom, perhaps no better exemplar appears than Sen. Barack Hussein Obama of Illinois.

Child of an immigrant father, Barack Obama has, by all accounts, lived the American dream, cutting a bold path of accomplishment through life, embodying many of the principles to which conservatives cling with righteous zeal.

Taught from the 5th grade on in a private school, he has demonstrated the efficacy of choice in education.

With no help from Affirmative Action, he earned acceptance at Occidental College, then Columbia University where he acquitted himself well enough to eventually gain admission to Harvard University.

There, based on his academic performance and success in a writing competition, he achieved the lofty post of editor of the Harvard Law Review. In the next year, Mr. Obama was elected president of the Law Review, which led to a publishing contract and an advance payment on his first book. He has since gained millions of dollars through his writings. He was graduated with great distinction, earning a J.D. from Harvard -- a degree for which he, doubtless, diligently labored many long hours, forsaking immediate gratification in pursuit of a long-term dream.

Early in his career, he worked for a church-based community group, serving as one the "thousand points of light' of which President George H.W. Bush spoke glowingly. He served in, and helped to start, several non-profit organizations intending to apply his skill and industry to better the lives of others, and thus share the blessings of liberty.

A paragon of family values and respect for life, Barack Obama started his own life un-aborted, and subsequently passed on that blessing to the two children born of a marital union with his spouse...who is a woman.

Mr. and Mrs. Obama have used their skills to accumulate wealth, allowing them to purchase a handsome mansion in a fine neighborhood, to drive quality vehicles, to fly for business and pleasure and to see the world. All of this was, of course, made possible by their combustion of vast quantities of petroleum products.

Living in this land of equal rights and equal opportunity under law, secured by the mightiest military force ever assembled anywhere, Barack Obama has persuaded thousands of his fellow countrymen to vote him into elected office -- first at the state, and then national, level. Now, he stands on the doorstep of receiving a major party nomination for the presidency. Each day he goes about his campaign flanked by men who carry concealed firearms, not as hunting tools, but as weapons to protect human life.

Yes, Barack Obama is the living embodiment of the beauty and truth of conservatism.

However, having eyes, he does not see. Sen. Obama seems unaware of the underlying foundational principles which have made his life one of blessing, wealth, dignity and honor.

Until he awakens to these principles, he is not fit to serve as president. Nothing more endangers American liberty than a child of liberty who spurns his parents.

In the meantime, the McCain campaign should make this simple promise to voters: President John McCain will strive to enhance the kind of liberty that allowed Barack Obama to live out his dreams in these magnificent United States.

Breaking News

Green Bay Packers trade Brett Favre to the New York Jets in a straight up deal for Joe Namath. Namath promises to show up sober, at least to the first practice. Joe Willie last seen, World Atlas in hand, asking a bartender at Kennedy Airport if he know how to spell Wisconsin.

Beatles Bigger Than Jesus? As If!

Forty-two years ago today, the Beatles suddenly got a lot less airplay. The broadcast of Beatles albums was banned at radio stations across the U.S.
Why? The whole "bigger than Jesus" thing.
John Lennon really shouldn't have claimed the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. It offended a lot of god fearing religious types, and it was also completely untrue.
Here's irrefutable journalistic evidence that proves Jesus was wayyy bigger than the Beatles.

Case closed.

Women's Restroom

Occasionally when I have nothing to blog about I will ask my significant other if she has anything she wants to say.... she usually does.

just sharing.

When you have to visit a public restroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.

You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't-so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would cough up a hair ball if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance".

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance".

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday-the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backwards against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lost your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper-not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."

As you exit, you spot your significant other, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public restrooms. It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other one can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

Obama Admits to Oil Addiction, Seeks Treatment

Democrat presidential hopeful Sen. Barack Obama, just hours after accusing his fellow citizens of being addicted to oil, admitted he has suffered the same condition since his teenage years.
“I confess that I frequently abused petroleum-based products,” said the contrite candidate, recalling that even at age 16 he sometimes drained 75 liters of a refined form of the controlled substance in a single week.
“Even now, I struggle, and it’s one day at a time,” said Sen. Obama, noting that “during a recent overseas jet fuel binge, thousands of dollars of the stuff just went up in smoke. I was seeing those trails, dude, and I thought, ‘That ain’t right. Barry you need help’.”
Unveiling his new energy proposal today in Michigan, Sen. Obama said when he’s president, generous coverage for victims of oil addiction will be part of his universal health care program. He added that he plans to set an example by checking himself into a 30-day public transit program for treatment.
“We can’t drill our way out of this crisis,” he said. “The first step is to admit you have a problem that you’re helpless to solve, and that you need to turn your life over to the care of a higher power who can pass legislation and levy taxes.”

Joke that requires a degree in English

One day while walking down the street with his mother, a little boy sees this bow-legged guy. The kid tells his mom, "Whoa, mom! Look how bow-legged that S.O.B. is!" His mother tells him, "We don't use that sort of language! As a punishment, you have to read Shakespeare for an hour."

The next day the boy sees another bow-legged guy and exclaims, "Damn, that guy's even more bow-legged than the last one!" Again as a punishment, the boy's mother tells him he has to read Shakespeare, but this time for a whole week.

A few days later, the boy sees another man with bow-legs. He yells, "Holy crap! That guy's the most bow-legged guy I've ever seen!" His punishment is to read Shakespeare for a entire month this time.

So, about a month later, the boys sees yet another bow-legged guy, turns to his mom and says, "Mother, pray tell, what manner of men are these that wear their balls in parentheses?"

This looks more and more like a do nothing congress

There they go again - out the door. According to The Associated Press, "Lawmakers sped for the exits Friday as Congress was to begin a five-week recess after a summer session noteworthy for bitter partisanship and paralysis on the issue topmost in the minds of many voters: the cost of gasoline."

The AP captured the situation perfectly. And the situation is deplorable. Never in the history of the United States have our elected representatives more consistently chosen politics over the public good.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, in particular, seem to revel in leading this do-nothing Democratic Congress. They've done nothing important. They waited until Friday to pass their first spending bill of the session - a slam-dunk $72.7 billion measure awarding generous increases to veterans programs and military base construction.

They utterly failed on the broader budget and energy fronts.

For every Republican attempt to increase drilling for more oil and gas, the Democrats counter with tortured reasons against it. Personally, I agree with the Republicans on increasing supply through expanded offshore drilling, nuclear power generation and other aggressive measures. We need it all, a comprehensive plan that includes conservation and renewable energy in the mix.

I also see merit in Democratic proposals to tighten regulation of oil and energy securities. Market manipulation allows speculators to build up the price, thus taking the risk out of investing in oil futures.

If the weakly regulated oil futures market isn't a national disgrace yet, it may in the near future.

The American people want the two sides to serve the country, not narrow interests. We ought to repudiate Democrats voting blindly with anti-development environmentalist interests and Republicans with anti-consumer business forces.

The gridlock is worse than ever in Washington.

If neither side is willing to budge, I say throw all the rascals out.

That brings up another outrage. When did the 60-vote rule on closing U.S. Senate debate become an automatic filibuster? These days, any 41 senators can bring everything to a halt even if there are 51 to 59 votes in the 100-member Senate for something.

Go back to the days of the real filibuster - brought to life in the 1939 film, "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington." I remember James Stewart's great performance as Sen. Jefferson Smith holding out for truth and justice on the Senate floor until he almost croaked.

Fiction? Yes, but no more fictitious than honoring the 60-vote rule without even the threat of a real filibuster.

One thing is certain. Members of Congress wouldn't run to the exits to go on five-week recesses if even a small number of them held out on principle. Today, there's no place in party partisanship for personal principle.

President Harry Truman ran against a do-nothing Congress in 1948 and won. The theme seems as appropriate now, 60 years later, as it was then.