Visible Taco

I was waiting for my 4 tacos for $1 at Taco Bell the other day(for the uninitiated, when the Colorado Rockies score 7 runs in a ball game, tacos are 4 for $1 the next day at Taco Bell) when I noticed a strange object sitting in a small plastic display case in the kitchen. Knowing I was in the presence of something truly bizarre, I whipped out my camera and snapped a picture of it. You know those “Visible Man” anatomical models? I’m pretty sure this is a “Visible Taco.”
But what purpose could it possibly serve? If it’s a guide for making a basic taco, why aren’t there other “visible” models of other, more complex menu items? What happens if you order a Taco Supreme? What if you order a burrito, for God’s sake?! What then?!
Maybe it’s not a guide at all. Maybe it’s an award for General Taco Excellence or something. I have no idea. Do you?

Obama's speech

I have not reported on the Democrat's National Convention, nor will I on the Republican side, because they have become a colossal waste of money. All show and very little substance. But I will make this comparison and be done with it.

When I was in the sixth grade at Lincoln Elementary School I ran for student body president. My platform consisted of only two items; (1) Coca Cola in the drinking fountains and (2) longer recess every day. I was called into the Principal's office, a Mrs. Edna Hellstern (a true and fitting name), and asked who was going to pay for changing the drinking fountains from water to Coca Cola, and then who was going to pay for the Coke? And on top of that if she granted us longer recess and the law stated that we had to have a certain amount of classroom instruction, did I want the students to come in an hour earlier in the morning or to stay an hour later in the afternoon? This was my first and best lesson in politics. When you promise something, someone somewhere has to pay, and when your mouth makes a promise that your a$$ can't cover, be prepared for the consequences. Mr. Obama, you should have had Edna Hellstern for your Principal.

Wrap up of the 2008 Summer Olympics

We're through with the Olympics, and everyone knows what that means: NBC should be showing the opening ceremony to viewers on the West coast any minute now

Fireworks light the sky above the National Stadium in Beijing near the conclusion of the opening ceremonies. If you live on the West Coast, you might see the broadcast on NBC at midnight on August 29th.

To my friends in California, here's what you missed so far:

Day One

The Games of the 29th Olympiad are launched at 8 p.m. on 8/8/08 with the Most Spectacular, Unbelievable, Flabbergasting, Incredible, Splendiferous, Mind-Blowing, Crazy-Big, Ginormous, Never-to-Be-Equaled Opening Ceremony in the History of All Living Creatures in Galaxies Known and Unknown (copyright 2008, NBC).

The ceremony begins with a 9-year-old Chinese girl standing on a platform and singing "Ode to the Motherland," which, it later turns out, has actually been prerecorded by Milli Vanilli. The ceremony also includes many, many drums, and a spectacular-crescendo ending in which the Chinese, in a clear homage to their sister city of Cleveland, actually light the pollutant-laden Beijing night air briefly on fire.

NBC host Bob Costas, from his booster seat in the International Broadcast Center, gushes: "When it comes to trite clichés, you can retire the trophy!"

In an unfortunate bit of timing, Russia, its tanks fueled with biodiesel made from composted copies of the Olympic Truce, invades Georgia. The Bush administration sends a tank brigade to protect Atlanta.

West Coast viewers see only beach volleyball.

Day Two

NBC finally broadcasts the pilot episode of "Laugh In" to the West Coast of the United States.

East Coast viewers watch Michael Phelps launch his quest to win every single gold medal in every single event in every single sport at the Beijing Games. He captures the 400 IM — amazingly, with the lip-syncing Chinese girl riding him like a dolphin. Mariel Zagunis of Oregon — who did not get the memo on Phelps — quickly foils (tiny joke there) his medal quest by winning her own gold medal in fencing.

Men's cycling begins with a large group of riders heading out into the smog, never to be seen again. Their medals are awarded to Phelps.

Day Three

NBC finally broadcasts the 1972 Republican National Convention to the West Coast.

The Chinese official responsible for leaking the news of the lip-synching in the opening ceremony receives a sentence of two-and-a-half lives watching beach volleyball.

East Coast U.S. viewers see Phelps win his second gold medal, swimming with both arms bound through a lake of fire, after which he remains at a loss for words.

The United States vanquishes China, 101-70, in basketball. The Chinese team is hastily relocated to Oklahoma City.

Equestrian Amy Tryon is disqualified after being bucked off her horse. The horse releases a statement explaining that he was tired of being forced to perform silly tricks by people in goofy hats.

Day Four

NBC finally broadcasts the closing ceremony of the 1956 Melbourne Games to the West Coast.

East Coast viewers see Phelps pull a gravel barge with his teeth to victory in the 200-meter freestyle. NBC reporter Andrea Kremer follows Phelps into the dope-testing stall, where he says he is still at a loss for words, and would she mind closing that door?

A controversy erupts in gymnastics, as several of the "women" on the Chinese squad appear to be no more than 6 years old. The scandal worsens when one of them enters the arena wearing warmups that look suspiciously like jammies with feet. West Coast viewers see only beach volleyball.

Day Five

NBC finally broadcasts the Battle of Little Bighorn to the West Coast.

East Coast viewers see Phelps win the 100-, 125-, 150-, 175-, 225-, 250-, 300-, 325-, 350-, 375-, 400-, 800- and 1600-meter freestyle races to bring his single-Olympic total to an astonishing 16. He remains at a loss for words.

In a news conference, Chinese reporters, celebrating newfound press freedoms, ask 6-year-old gold-medal-winning Chinese gymnasts what they did on their 21st birthdays.

Day Six

NBC finally broadcasts the opening of the Panama Canal to the West Coast.

East Coast viewers see a new scandal erupt as several members of the gold-medal Chinese men's gymnastics team are revealed to be pre-pubescent girls.

Phelps invades Georgia. Upon return, he wins his 33rd gold medal by swimming the 200 butterfly with his goggles completely filled with battery acid.

A U.S. swimmer at the Water Cube is expelled from the national team and barred from the Olympics after winning her race, but failing to establish a new world record.

Day Seven

NBC finally broadcasts the Battle of Dunkirk to the West Coast.

East Coast viewers watch Phelps, who trails by 49 meters at the 50-meter mark, leap like Shamu the killer whale into the air, fly the length of the pool, and somehow defeat stunned Serbian swimmer Milo Cavic, who has been sitting in the finish area smoking a cigarette for at least 12 minutes.

Track and field begins, with the sad spectacle of Marion Jones attempting to run the 200 meters in an orange jumpsuit with a home-confinement locator beacon strapped around her ankle.

Phelps is at a loss for words.

Days eight through sixteen are yet to be broadcast to the West Coast.

Racist Covenants Still on the Books in Some Neighborhoods

Besides making fun of Democrats, is there a more popular pastime than complaining about neighborhood covenants?

Maybe you don't like earth tone paint colors. You think it's outrageous you can't park in the street. Or you must have a chain link fence.
Be glad, then, if you didn't live in Colorado Springs before 1957. Covenants in those days were far more restrictive. Racist actually.

Consider this line from the 1940 covenants for Dorchester Heights, a subdivision in Ivywild, then an rural area near The Broadmoor:

"No lot in said tract shall at any time be lived upon by any person whose blood is not entirely that of the Caucasian race, and for the purpose of this paragraph, no Japanese, Chinese, Mexican, Hindu or any other person of the Ethiopian, Indian or Mongolian races shall be deemed to be Caucasian."

Wow. At least there was an exception that allowed a few lucky people of color into Dorchester Heights.

"If persons not of the Caucasian race be kept thereon by such a Caucasian occupant, strictly in the capacity of servants or employees of such occupant, such circumstance shall not constitute a violation."

In other words, Barack Obama would be welcome as long as he was toting iced tea for a homeowner, or driving Miss Daisy or whistling "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" and battling Brer Rabbit. Otherwise, presumably the homeowners association filed a lien?

In fact, in developing the "Count Pourtales Addition" around his Broadmoor hotel in 1926, Spencer Penrose included this covenant:
"No part of said property shall at any time be owned, used or occupied in whole or in part by any person or persons of African origin or descent, except that domestic servants, chauffeurs or gardeners of such race may live on or occupy the premises where their employer resides."

Similar language still can be found in deeds and covenants in the Old North End neighborhood and the Broadmoor.

It was a hotly debated issue in the 1920s and ‘30s. In 1930, the Colorado Supreme Court upheld racially discriminatory covenants. It wasn't until 1957 that the court overturned the decision, invalidating racist covenants.

So why are they still around? Associations are not obligated to delete racist restrictions, so, they still show up.

The Biggest Missing Story in Politics

The Battleground Poll, the most respected and thorough of all public opinion polls, released its latest results on August 20th. Although many people read this poll for the data on voter preference in upcoming elections, for voter opinions about the two major political parties, for what things matter most to voters, I always zip past this data in the first fifteen pages of poll results and go straight to Question D3, which very quietly and totally ignored proclaims the biggest missing story in American politics and which is the only story, in the long run, that really matters.

I have been tracking Question D3 for a long time, since June 2002, in thirteen straight Battleground Poll results. Americans respond to this question more consistently than to any other question in those thirteen Battleground Poll surveys. People many change their opinions dramatically about Iraq or President Bush or drilling for oil, but not their answer to Question D3.


The Battleground Poll is different. It is bipartisan. A Republican polling organization, the Terrance Group, and a Democrat polling organization, Lake Research Partners, collaborate in picking the questions, selecting the sample population, conducting the surveys, and analyzing the results. The Battleground Poll website, along with the raw data, is "Republican Strategic Analysis" and "Democratic Strategic Analysis." There are few polls that are bipartisan. No other polling organization asks the same questions year after year, none that reveal the internals of their poll results so completely, and none ask anything like Question D3 in every survey. What is Question D3 and what were the results to Question D3 in the August 20, 2008 Battleground Poll? It is this:

"When thinking about politics and government, do you consider yourself to be...

Very conservative

Somewhat conservative

MODERATE

Somewhat liberal

Very liberal

UNSURE/REFUSED"

In August 2008, Americans answered that question this way: (1) 20% of Americans considered themselves to be very conservative; (2) 40% of Americans considered themselves to be somewhat conservative; (3) 2% of Americans considered themselves to be moderate; (4) 27% of Americans considered themselves to be somewhat liberal; (5) 9% of Americans considered themselves to be very liberal; and (6) 3% of Americans did not know or refused to answer.

Sixty percent of Americans considered themselves conservative. Does this mean that most Americans do not know what "conservative" means? No: The question specifically provides an out to people who are not sure about their ideology; it provides an out to people who want to be considered "moderate." Americans reject those choices. They overwhelmingly define themselves as "conservative." This is a huge political story - except that it is not "new" at all. Look at the thirteen Battleground Poll results over the last six years, and how do Americans answer that very question? Here are the percentages of Americans in those polls who call themselves "conservative" since June 2002: 59% (June 2002 poll), 59% (September 2003 poll), 61% (April 2004 poll), 59% (June 2004 poll), 60% (September 2004 poll), 61% (October 2005 poll), 59% (March 2006), 61% (October 2006), 59% (January 2007), 63% (July 2007), 58% (December 2007), 63% (May 2008), and now 60% (August 2008.)

The percentage of Americans who define themselves as "somewhat liberal" or "very liberal" has always been puny. In thirteen straight polls, this percentage has never been higher than 38% (June 2004) and it has usually been much lower. The gap between self-defined conservatives and self-defined liberals has been as high as thirty percentage points and as low as twenty-one percentage points. What does that translate into in electoral politics? If conservative presidential candidates simply got all the conservative votes - if virtually all moderate voters, uncommitted voters, and liberal voters went for the liberal candidate - then the conservative candidates would win a landslide bigger than Ronald Reagan in 1988. Have you ever wondered why liberals like Obama never call themselves liberals? Maybe their advisers have read the Battleground Poll internals.

Are these remarkable results skewed? This has always been the argument, but it is a hopelessly flawed argument. The poll results are incredibly consistent over time. These results are the same when President Bush has poll numbers at rock bottom and when Republicans were facing electoral disaster, like in October 2006 when 61% of Americans called themselves conservatives. The very consistency of these percentages is powerful evidence of their inherent validity.


If people did not know what conservative, liberal, and moderate meant, then the poll results to that question would bounce around over time and people would flock to define themselves as "moderate" or they would say "don't know." When given four different options to the conservative label, respondents overwhelmingly chose to define themselves, instead, as conservatives.

Do people feel pressured into calling themselves conservatives? Think: Hollywood regularly excoriates the image of conservatives; the mainstream media demonizes conservatives; schools teach that conservatives are narrow minded bigots; academia tries to hound independent conservative newspapers and organizations off campus. It requires much more courage to define yourself as a conservative than any other label, particularly when the banal "moderate" answer is so easily grasped. No: These answers to Question D3 are real, profound, and great.

Why, then, do other polls show Americans so different from conservatives? The short answer is that other polls are scrupulously constructed to hide the tsunami of conservative opinion in America. On abortion, for example, polls will report that Americans define themselves at least as much as "pro-choice" as they do "pro-life," but that is just not true. The "pro-choice" advocates nationally oppose bans on partial birth abortion, oppose parental notification, and oppose counseling on abortion. Led by men like Obama, the "pro-choice" position is, quite simply, that a woman always has a right to choose an abortion.

Polls do not show support for that at all. Polls over the last few months give the following levels of support to making abortion always legal: "always legal - 19%" (Quinnipiac Poll, July 2008); "legal in all cases - 19%" (Pew Poll, June 2008); "legal in all cases - 18%" (ABC / Washington Post Poll, June 2008). While it is true that the percentage of Americans who want abortion illegal in all situations is almost exactly the same as those who want abortion legal in all cases, the overwhelming percentage of Americans want just what pro-life advocates want: abortion generally available in cases of rape, incest, or life-threatening health problems for the mother; abortion for minors regulated just like abortion for any major medical procedure for minors is regulated; and abortion on account of personal inconvenience more strictly regulated. All of these polls showing Americans equally divided were crafted by people and by groups intent upon presenting a false impression of how Americans felt about abortion.

Polls on other issues are just as bad. The CNN poll of June 2008 on gun control is a good example. CNN asks people to interpret the Constitution, by reciting the text of the Second Amendment. Then asks whether this text in the Bill of Rights was intended to provide for "a well regulated militia" or to preserve "the right of the people to keep and bear arms." In other words, the question implies that the Second Amendment cannot preserve two rights, both of which are explicitly recited within the text of that amendment: A well regulated militia is necessary to the security of a free state, and the right of the people to keep and bear arms is specifically guaranteed as well.

Like everything that the Left does, from entertainment to higher education, the structure, the format, and the revealed results of information is conformed to present an image in which conservatives and their values are as invisible as blacks in the Antebellum South. Even Leftists themselves believe this false picture. Consider, in 1988, how many liberal Democrats did not believe that Reagan had won an overwhelming landslide because they, personally, knew of no one who voted for him. Consider how blindsided the Left was by the overwhelming popularity of an unapologetic conservative like Rush Limbaugh. Consider that Republicans walk about in a blue funk wondering where the next Reagan is, utterly forgetting that not only Leftists, but "moderate" Republicans in 1980 were labeling Reagan as far, far too conservative. The Gipper, in fact, was comfortably in the middle of a huge American majority. The extremists are that 9% of Americans who call themselves "very liberal."

Conservatives are like those proverbial sailors becalmed off the coast of Brazil, dying of thirst, and wondering how they would survive until tomorrow. When another ship passed asked the listless sailing ship if its crew needed help, the urgent call was for fresh water, to which the passing ship replied "Lift down your buckets into the sea. You are in the mouth of the Amazon." Fresh water was everywhere around the dehydrated men; they just did not know it. Conservatives are not just a majority of Americans, but an utterly overwhelming majority of all Americans. As soon as they grasp this huge fact, government and politics in America will be transformed.

Obama Text Message

DNC "Real People" Include Working Mom $24M in Debt

The Democrat National Convention speaker line up will feature a number of “real people” talking about the pain of living in these tough economic times, including an Indiana railroader, a Michigan truck driver, and an ordinary working mother from New York who’s saddled with $24 million in campaign debt.
The woman, who spent that money in an effort to get a better job, saw her hopes and dreams crushed because of sex discrimination in the Democrat party during the Bush administration.
Her husband has no regular paycheck and must often travel hundreds of miles to find work, so the high price of fuel has cut deeply into their monthly budget.
While she has tried to “pull herself up by her own bootstraps” by asking supporters of presidential nominee Barack Obama to pay off her debt, near-recession conditions have kept them from being able to help.
A spokesman for the DNC said, “This story will help TV viewers to see the brutal impact of eight years with a Republican in the White House. Lots of woman will identify with her plight. After all, she’s not the first lady to feel the pain of George Bush’s repressive regime.”

Attention, People of Australia

I've been Down Under to visit once. Love you guys. Love your big island of a country. Love your food and drink and 'roos and even that little Bindi Irwin.
But, for the love of God, you've got to do something about those unitards.
You know what I mean. You have to know. You do love to watch the Olympics, and every time you tune them in on the satellite, you've got to see your national prides and joys parading around out there in what looks like an official girl's gym-class uniform, circa 1973 America.
Crikey!
It's bright yellow and green, sleeveless, cut off at the knees and incredibly form fitting. Not that I'm opposed to form-fitting, especially when it comes to bodies honed to Olympic-athlete perfection.
But c'mon. You've got them on your women's basketball team. Your Lauren Jackson, for pete's sake — our Lauren Jackson, come to think of it — has to go from hip hop, WNBA cool-and-loose to Down Under buttoned-up-tight in one fell swoop.
Surely there's a good reason for this apparently irreversible fashion coma. A long-standing sponsorship deal with makers of severe girdles?
What's worse, the uni seems to be spreading all the way across your Olympic roster. I saw men — I think they were men — wearing them in track cycling the other day. And runners. And jumpers. And throwers.
The only people who seem to be escaping the fashion atrocity are your swimmers, who, like everyone else, are wearing those godawful full-body suits made of black electrical tape. I point this out only because it's the one piece of athletic attire that's actually worse than the Aussie standard-issue unitard.
So, there it is. I didn't want to say anything, not wanting to offend. But would you tell your best friend from another continent if he had, say, a large chunk of toilet paper stuck to his shoe?

Now we know why Obama shuns McCain

Last May Barack Obama boldly declared that he would debate John McCain “anywhere, anytime,” and McCain responded with an invitation to Obama to participate in about a dozen Town Hall meetings around the country.As Obama’s lead in the polls has continually slipped and the more Americans get to know him, his mantra has changed to “no way, no how, no time.”And Saturday night we found out why.McCain whipped Obama in an almost one-on-one appearance at the Saddleback megachurch in Southern California. The two candidates sat on the same stage, but in separate interviews, answering the same questions back-to-back.No one but the campaign staff of Obama thought he even came close to matching McCain for decisive, clear and understandable answers offered up by Pastor Rick Warren. Without a TelePrompTer to display his script, Obama is lost on subjects ranging from international threats to history to personal values.For wisdom and advice in the White House, Obama said he would rely on his wife, his grandmother and possibly Sen. Sam Nunn or politicians like him.Let’s take those one at a time, beginning with his wife. Think: Rosalynn Carter, Nancy Reagan, Barbara Bush, Hillary Clinton, Laura Bush. There’s a great foreign-policy or economic team.As for grandmothers, Obama sees his - the woman who actually raised him - only occasionally during the year. Can’t you just see him calling grandma on the red phone at 3 a.m.?And then there is Sam Nunn, a logical and sensible choice, but what good is one out of three?McCain’s answer was in sharp contrast: He would rely on a successful military general, a civil-rights leader and a top business executive.One other question, “When does life begin?” McCain had a straightforward answer: “At conception.”Obama rambled on without answering the question (an emerging trademark of his style), saying such a weighty issue “is above my pay grade.” It certainly wasn’t above his pay grade when he was making far less, casting votes on abortion issues.But the stakes, like the pay grade, seem to be higher now than merely the lives of unborn babies. Barack Obama is running for president.And then there was the real clincher, the question about the most agonizing decision each man has ever made. For Obama it was his choice to abuse drugs and alcohol as a teenager.It was somewhat different for McCain, who cited his decision to remain a captive of the brutal Viet Cong - who were torturing him and his fellow POWs - rather than to accept the offer of freedom and hand America’s enemy a propaganda bonanza. He chose to remain in cruel prison camps instead.There’s a difference between choosing to do drugs and choosing to endure three more years of torture in a POW camp. (The reason that McCain can’t raise his arms above his shoulder, like most politicians, is because of injuries inflicted by his captors.)The contrasts went on and on, growing more defining by the moment. In matters of clarity, history, personal experience, comfort, there was no contest. Even Obama’s wife and grandmother wouldn’t have been able to save him from the embarrassing night. We can only hope that the three TV anchors who will be hosting the official pre-election debates in September and October will have learned something from Warren, the soft-spoken clergyman who conducted last weekend’s discussion.His performance was even-handed, noncombative and pointed. It provided the candidates an open opportunity to express their views on a wide range of subjects - for better or worse. The moderator may have been fair and even, but the results certainly weren’t. Obama’s performance was so lacking that his campaign actually accused McCain of cheating - having somehow had access to the questions before the discussions started. A representative for Saddleback Church refuted that claim with a minute-by-minute accounting of McCain’s time leading up to his appearance on the stage, following Obama’s time with Warren.Because Obama has reneged on his offer to meet McCain “anywhere, anytime,” there will be only three more shared-stage appearances by the two candidates.Both will be the traditional, predictable formats the TV networks presented during the primary season, hopefully without the inane and time-consuming questions from outsiders looking for their 15 seconds of fame.Don’t expect any of these events to be more revealing than what we watched last week.

As I have done in the past this is a guest post. Chuck Green wrote this post. Chuck is the retired editor of the Denver Post who has moved to our fine community. I consider Chuck not only a neighbor, but a friend.

Pastor Rick Warren's Forum Unfair to Obama

The Saddleback Civil Forum last Saturday night, hosted by best-selling author Pastor Rick Warren, was “utterly and shamelessly biased” toward Republican presidential nominee John McCain, according to a spokesman for the ‘Obama for America’ campaign.
Sen. Barack Obama, one of the two front runners for the Democrat presidential nomination, often seemed to stumble through his answers to Pastor Warren’s questions, continually glancing down to his right, with his head cocked at a 45-degree angle for nearly the entire hour.
Sen. McCain, on the other hand, gave crisp answers, looked directly at the television audience most of the time, and delivered what many pundits acknowledged was his best performance to date.
Pastor Warren asked each candidate the same set of questions, including “At what point is a baby entitled to human rights?”
Answering that question would be “above my pay grade,” said Sen. Obama, who reported $4.2 million in household income in 2007.
When he was asked the same question, Sen. McCain immediately said, “At the moment of conception.”
That interchange clearly demonstrates how the event was biased against Sen. Obama, according to his spokesman.
“Of course McCain looked good,” the anonymous Obama aide said. “He didn’t have to worry about how his answer would be perceived. He didn’t have to work to recall his talking points. He didn’t have to think, or even try to look like he was thinking. All he had to do was blurt out what he believed. Clearly, this gave him an unfair advantage, and we think the American people will see this for what it is…another Republican smear tactic.”

This is the 31st Anniversary of Elvis Crawling out of the Bathroom Window

I know there are a lot of fans out there that believe Elvis is dead. Well I am sorry but you are wrong. Elvis, myself and Paul "Spider" Murphy have breakfast at the City Diner every Tuesday morning and discuss the sad state of today's music along with other topics in the news. Elvis says hello.

DNC Deal: Hillary Gets Roll Call, Obama May Speak

Sen. Hillary Clinton has reportedly granted Sen. Barack Obama’s request for a speaking role at the Democrat National Convention in Denver this month, after Sen. Obama supported her demand for a roll-call vote on her own nomination.
“We are very grateful to Hillary for this opportunity to address the convention,” said Sen. Obama. “Let’s be honest: We all know who wears the pants in this party, and the pant suits. She didn’t have to do this for me, but her willingness to grant me a significant role in Denver shows how committed she is to unifying the party behind a single leader.”
Supporters of Sen. Obama said his handling of this intra-party crisis demonstrates his strengths as commander in chief, noting that his secret to quickly resolving conflicts is to simply give the other party what they want.
“When a world power, Russia or Iran for example, causes trouble and makes unreasonable demands, President Obama will launch boldly into dialog and make sure the enemy gets what’s coming to them,” said one unnamed Obama aide. “In Obama’s America, we will lay down our weapons and take up the torch of conciliatory diplomacy. In addition to smoother international relations, we’ll also save a ton of money, because compared with weapons, talk is cheap.”

DQ'd Athlete Lacked Broadcast Enhancing Story

A member of the U.S. Olympic diving team was disqualified from competition today when it was learned that he did not have a sufficiently compelling human story line to exploit on the NBC telecast of the worldwide sporting event.

Tracy Klujian, the expelled diver, was not raised by a single mother, never had a career-threatening injury, and did not overcome a personal tragedy of any kind before making the Olympic diving team, U.S. Olympic officials revealed today.

"Had Tracy been involved in an organ donation, as either a donor or a recipient, that would have been acceptable to us," a diving team spokesman told reporters. "However, he was not."

According to sources close to the diving team, Klujian had concealed the fact that he comes from an intact, middle-class family that never lost its home to a flood, tornado or typhoon. But what may have sealed Klujian's doom, sources said, was his utter lack of a gravely ill family member to win a medal for.

"Tracy did his best to hide his background from team officials," one source said. "But when the truth came out, he was finished."

Speaking to reporters in Beijing, NBC sports chief Dick Ebersol was even less charitable, terming Klujian's actions "a reprehensible betrayal."

"We do our best to check out all of the athletes to make sure that their backgrounds are full of compelling human drama, but we can't catch everything," Ebersol said. "This is a case of one really bad guy exploiting the system."

China: Gymnasts' Age Based on Chinese Calendar

Authorities in Beijing today put to rest U.S. claims that girls on the Chinese gymnastics squad were not yet 16 years-old, the minimum age for Olympic competition, by noting that this is the year 4705 in China, not 2008.
“Our girls are actually older than their U.S. opponents based on our government’s more accurate and efficient method of tracking the passage of time,” said an unnamed spokesman for Communist regime. “We have already had more than twice as many years as the Western world, and so our gymnasts are double the 12 or 13 years they appear to be. By the way, most of our girls have put off marriage in order to compete in these Olympic games.”
The spokesman explained that China is able to “pack more time into a year by having fewer seasons.”
“Whereas in the U.S., you squander your time by having four wasteful seasons,” he said, “In China we have optimized our year, honing it down to only two seasons — the earthquake season and the flood season. This way we can do two years in the time it takes Americans to do one. Therefore, our girls look like prepubescent pixies while yours look like post-menopausal Amazons.”
The Chinese calendar also runs in 12-year cycles, each named after one of a dozen animals. The Chinese year 4705, which started February 7, is the year of the rat.

Why It Is Important to Watch Every Minute of the Olympics

Census: Whites in Minority by 2042

According to the latest U.S. Census data, in little more than a generation minorities will become the majority, thus enabling White Americans to ‘get on the receiving end’ of government cash, jobs and other benefits which they can’t get now because of their unfortunate racial status.
Good jobs without full qualification, contractor set-asides on government projects, easier access to college, and more personal attention from Democrat candidates are among the special favors that Whites can expect to receive starting in the year 2042, experts said.
However, being in the minority may also have its pitfalls. So, in preparation for the transition, White activists have already formed several organizations to promote fair treatment and to protect civil rights.
The National Association for the Advancement of Pale People (known as the N-Double-A P.P.) has already filed incorporation papers, as has a counterpart to the Rev. Jesse Jackson’s Rainbow Coalition, currently dubbed The Beige Coalition.
In Washington D.C., visionary lawmakers have begun to draft an agenda for the Congressional White Caucus which will represent the interests of their minority children and grandchildren, making sure, for example, that suburban public school districts get their fair share of federal education funding.
Meanwhile, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) said it will be ready to defend the rights of White people, to stem the outbreak of police citations for D.W.W. (driving while white), and to fight for things like guaranteed access to government documents written in English.
However, an ACLU source acknowledged that “re-tooling for the new era of fighting discrimination against Whites may have to await the retirement of everyone currently on staff.”

Breaking News

I could not have made this up if I would have tried. Police in Broomfield, CO (a suburb of Denver) arrested a woman on the charge of prostitution. Here are the words as I copied them from the Denver Post:

Mi Sook Yoo, 48, of Broomfield, was arrested for pimping, pandering and keeping a place of prostitution.

John Edwards Confirms 2nd Tabloid Report

Former Democrat presidential candidate and former leading vice-presidential candidate John Edwards, just days after confirming a National Enquirer story about an adulterous affair with amateur filmmaker Rielle Hunter, today acknowledged the truth of another supermarket tabloid report.

In an exclusive interview with ABC News, Mr. Edwards confessed that stories and photos in the Weekly World News were accurate, despite his previous denials.

“I have, in fact, met on more than one occasion with a large-headed alien from another planet,” said Mr. Edwards. “The pictures in the Weekly World News are real.”

Mr. Edwards, who had harbored hopes of being Barack Obama’s running mate, denied allegations that he has “fathered an alien love child,” but said the extraterrestrial emissary was “quite supportive of my White House bid.”

“I’m willing to undergo a paternity test if we can secure a DNA sample from the alien…if, indeed, they have DNA,” he added.

Although the former North Carolina senator took responsibility for his secret encounters, he also indicated that there was little he could do to prevent what happened.

“As anyone who has ever walked through a supermarket checkout knows,” he said, “This is all playing out just as Nostradamus predicted it would. I could no more resist fulfilling the prophesy than I could rebuff the advances of that woman, Ms. Hunter.”

Healed! Lord Barack Almighty, I'm Healed!

Loren Swelk, 73, who has been confined to a wheelchair for much of his adult life, came to hear presidential candidate Barack Obama speak at the University of Texas. Afterward he found himself in a wheelchair access breezeway as Obama and his entourage exited the arena. The candidate spotted him, came over, grabbed his hand and pulled him up. He found herself standing for the first time in eleven years. "He smiled at me and said, ‘Yes, you can,’" he says. "I was so stunned I didn’t know what to do." Swelk is among hundreds of people who say they have been healed by the Democratic candidate, in one of the most surprising and little-acknowledged aspects of his campaign. Reporters have shied away from the story, chalking it up to "Obama-mania" and people’s feelings of elation. "We don’t talk about it a lot, but yeah, it does happen," says one staffer who says he has seen multiple people healed on a rope line. "We don’t know exactly how or why it’s happening, and the Senator won’t talk about it. He usually insists that people keep it quiet and just report it to their pastor or priest." Greeting supporters after a rousing speech in Houston, Obama stepped into the dense crowd and spontaneously began touching people: a legally blind woman, a man deaf in one ear, a cancer sufferer and a lame man. "Yes, you can," Obama said as he laid hands on afflicted bodies. The people’s reactions were so joyous as to be almost frightening. They jumped and shouted and wept. Before they could thank or embrace the candidate he was well down the rope line healing others. Their excitement was lost in the general din of the crowd. Aides acknowledge that the phenomenon is occurring with greater frequency. "His power goes beyond simple inspiration," says one aide. "There is something developing here that I’m not sure any of us fully understands." They say Obama has told them privately that his time has not yet come, so it would be inappropriate to talk about the healings right now. He says he will wait until the convention to speak publicly about the "special calling" he believes he has to lead the country. They do expect him to start alluding to "the providential nature of what is happening on the campaign trail" in an upcoming address, mostly because word is getting around. People have begun bringing relatives by the score to campaign events in hopes of a healing touch. "It’s not the speeches that are drawing people anymore, as good as they are," says a senior staff member. "It’s people wanting to get better, and wanting their friends and relatives to get better. It’s the belief that there’s something more here." •

The Right Person for the Right Job

It is probably overlooked by most minimum wage employers, but maybe they should check the spelling abilities of their employees before assigning an important task such as changing the letters on the company sign.

Bill Clinton's Convention Speech Draft Leaked

Just hours after news broke that Democrat presidential hopeful Barack Obama had granted former President Bill Clinton a speaking role at the party’s convention in Denver this month, an alleged draft of Mr. Clinton’s speech has leaked to the news media.

Evidently a work-in-progress, the Clinton manuscript calls Sen. Obama “one of the most [adjective] candidates to arise in recent memory.”

“Barack Obama is certainly [mild superlative] qualified to serve as president,” Mr. Clinton will reportedly tell the Democrat faithful, “regardless of what Hillary and I said when she was running against him in the primaries. After all, he’s more than 35-years-old, and it’s pretty likely that he’s a U.S. citizen by birth. Constitutionally, that’s all you need.”

Mr. Clinton will note that he’s “personally looking forward to President Obama’s administration, for a term not to exceed four years. After all, 48 months is long enough to make your little statement about racial equality. Then we can get Hillary in there, while she still has enough estrogen to be considered the first woman president.”

‘The man from Hope, Arkansas’ will pay tribute to the candidate of ‘hope and change’ as someone who “knows how to say the things we want to hear in a way that makes us forget our selfish needs and focus on his.”

“While my wife may have deep knowledge about policy, and extensive experience working with leaders at the national and global level, Barack Obama is even more impressive because he’s found a way to secure his party’s nomination while avoiding the drudgery of actual work, and the toil of learning. Ain’t that the American dream?”

Breaking News

CHICAGO -- Former President Clinton will have a role at the Democratic convention in Denver later this month.
Democratic officials said Thursday that Clinton will give a speech on the third night of the convention, before an address by the as-yet-to-be-named running mate for Barack Obama, the party's likely presidential nominee. At President Clinton's request the event will be held at the Blue Fox, a downtown "Gentlemen's Club". Employees at the much raided nude dancing establishment have been asked to remove two poles and a jello wrestling tub for the event. The Obama officials who spoke on condition of anonymity asked that anyone interested in attending the event be prepared to pay a cover charge and two drink minimum and also to bring a supply of one dollar and five dollar bills for the event.
Exactly what role the former president would play at the gathering Aug. 25-28 has been the subject of speculation since his wife, New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, ended her bid for the Democratic presidential nomination in early June and tepidly endorsed Obama.

Barack Obama: A Picture of Conservatism in Action

If conservatives seek someone to illustrate to the nation their glorious vision of bootstrap freedom, perhaps no better exemplar appears than Sen. Barack Hussein Obama of Illinois.

Child of an immigrant father, Barack Obama has, by all accounts, lived the American dream, cutting a bold path of accomplishment through life, embodying many of the principles to which conservatives cling with righteous zeal.

Taught from the 5th grade on in a private school, he has demonstrated the efficacy of choice in education.

With no help from Affirmative Action, he earned acceptance at Occidental College, then Columbia University where he acquitted himself well enough to eventually gain admission to Harvard University.

There, based on his academic performance and success in a writing competition, he achieved the lofty post of editor of the Harvard Law Review. In the next year, Mr. Obama was elected president of the Law Review, which led to a publishing contract and an advance payment on his first book. He has since gained millions of dollars through his writings. He was graduated with great distinction, earning a J.D. from Harvard -- a degree for which he, doubtless, diligently labored many long hours, forsaking immediate gratification in pursuit of a long-term dream.

Early in his career, he worked for a church-based community group, serving as one the "thousand points of light' of which President George H.W. Bush spoke glowingly. He served in, and helped to start, several non-profit organizations intending to apply his skill and industry to better the lives of others, and thus share the blessings of liberty.

A paragon of family values and respect for life, Barack Obama started his own life un-aborted, and subsequently passed on that blessing to the two children born of a marital union with his spouse...who is a woman.

Mr. and Mrs. Obama have used their skills to accumulate wealth, allowing them to purchase a handsome mansion in a fine neighborhood, to drive quality vehicles, to fly for business and pleasure and to see the world. All of this was, of course, made possible by their combustion of vast quantities of petroleum products.

Living in this land of equal rights and equal opportunity under law, secured by the mightiest military force ever assembled anywhere, Barack Obama has persuaded thousands of his fellow countrymen to vote him into elected office -- first at the state, and then national, level. Now, he stands on the doorstep of receiving a major party nomination for the presidency. Each day he goes about his campaign flanked by men who carry concealed firearms, not as hunting tools, but as weapons to protect human life.

Yes, Barack Obama is the living embodiment of the beauty and truth of conservatism.

However, having eyes, he does not see. Sen. Obama seems unaware of the underlying foundational principles which have made his life one of blessing, wealth, dignity and honor.

Until he awakens to these principles, he is not fit to serve as president. Nothing more endangers American liberty than a child of liberty who spurns his parents.

In the meantime, the McCain campaign should make this simple promise to voters: President John McCain will strive to enhance the kind of liberty that allowed Barack Obama to live out his dreams in these magnificent United States.

Breaking News

Green Bay Packers trade Brett Favre to the New York Jets in a straight up deal for Joe Namath. Namath promises to show up sober, at least to the first practice. Joe Willie last seen, World Atlas in hand, asking a bartender at Kennedy Airport if he know how to spell Wisconsin.

Beatles Bigger Than Jesus? As If!

Forty-two years ago today, the Beatles suddenly got a lot less airplay. The broadcast of Beatles albums was banned at radio stations across the U.S.
Why? The whole "bigger than Jesus" thing.
John Lennon really shouldn't have claimed the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. It offended a lot of god fearing religious types, and it was also completely untrue.
Here's irrefutable journalistic evidence that proves Jesus was wayyy bigger than the Beatles.

Case closed.

Women's Restroom

Occasionally when I have nothing to blog about I will ask my significant other if she has anything she wants to say.... she usually does.

just sharing.

When you have to visit a public restroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.

You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't-so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would cough up a hair ball if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance".

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance".

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday-the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backwards against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lost your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper-not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."

As you exit, you spot your significant other, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public restrooms. It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other one can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

Obama Admits to Oil Addiction, Seeks Treatment

Democrat presidential hopeful Sen. Barack Obama, just hours after accusing his fellow citizens of being addicted to oil, admitted he has suffered the same condition since his teenage years.
“I confess that I frequently abused petroleum-based products,” said the contrite candidate, recalling that even at age 16 he sometimes drained 75 liters of a refined form of the controlled substance in a single week.
“Even now, I struggle, and it’s one day at a time,” said Sen. Obama, noting that “during a recent overseas jet fuel binge, thousands of dollars of the stuff just went up in smoke. I was seeing those trails, dude, and I thought, ‘That ain’t right. Barry you need help’.”
Unveiling his new energy proposal today in Michigan, Sen. Obama said when he’s president, generous coverage for victims of oil addiction will be part of his universal health care program. He added that he plans to set an example by checking himself into a 30-day public transit program for treatment.
“We can’t drill our way out of this crisis,” he said. “The first step is to admit you have a problem that you’re helpless to solve, and that you need to turn your life over to the care of a higher power who can pass legislation and levy taxes.”

Joke that requires a degree in English

One day while walking down the street with his mother, a little boy sees this bow-legged guy. The kid tells his mom, "Whoa, mom! Look how bow-legged that S.O.B. is!" His mother tells him, "We don't use that sort of language! As a punishment, you have to read Shakespeare for an hour."

The next day the boy sees another bow-legged guy and exclaims, "Damn, that guy's even more bow-legged than the last one!" Again as a punishment, the boy's mother tells him he has to read Shakespeare, but this time for a whole week.

A few days later, the boy sees another man with bow-legs. He yells, "Holy crap! That guy's the most bow-legged guy I've ever seen!" His punishment is to read Shakespeare for a entire month this time.

So, about a month later, the boys sees yet another bow-legged guy, turns to his mom and says, "Mother, pray tell, what manner of men are these that wear their balls in parentheses?"

This looks more and more like a do nothing congress

There they go again - out the door. According to The Associated Press, "Lawmakers sped for the exits Friday as Congress was to begin a five-week recess after a summer session noteworthy for bitter partisanship and paralysis on the issue topmost in the minds of many voters: the cost of gasoline."

The AP captured the situation perfectly. And the situation is deplorable. Never in the history of the United States have our elected representatives more consistently chosen politics over the public good.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, in particular, seem to revel in leading this do-nothing Democratic Congress. They've done nothing important. They waited until Friday to pass their first spending bill of the session - a slam-dunk $72.7 billion measure awarding generous increases to veterans programs and military base construction.

They utterly failed on the broader budget and energy fronts.

For every Republican attempt to increase drilling for more oil and gas, the Democrats counter with tortured reasons against it. Personally, I agree with the Republicans on increasing supply through expanded offshore drilling, nuclear power generation and other aggressive measures. We need it all, a comprehensive plan that includes conservation and renewable energy in the mix.

I also see merit in Democratic proposals to tighten regulation of oil and energy securities. Market manipulation allows speculators to build up the price, thus taking the risk out of investing in oil futures.

If the weakly regulated oil futures market isn't a national disgrace yet, it may in the near future.

The American people want the two sides to serve the country, not narrow interests. We ought to repudiate Democrats voting blindly with anti-development environmentalist interests and Republicans with anti-consumer business forces.

The gridlock is worse than ever in Washington.

If neither side is willing to budge, I say throw all the rascals out.

That brings up another outrage. When did the 60-vote rule on closing U.S. Senate debate become an automatic filibuster? These days, any 41 senators can bring everything to a halt even if there are 51 to 59 votes in the 100-member Senate for something.

Go back to the days of the real filibuster - brought to life in the 1939 film, "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington." I remember James Stewart's great performance as Sen. Jefferson Smith holding out for truth and justice on the Senate floor until he almost croaked.

Fiction? Yes, but no more fictitious than honoring the 60-vote rule without even the threat of a real filibuster.

One thing is certain. Members of Congress wouldn't run to the exits to go on five-week recesses if even a small number of them held out on principle. Today, there's no place in party partisanship for personal principle.

President Harry Truman ran against a do-nothing Congress in 1948 and won. The theme seems as appropriate now, 60 years later, as it was then.