Wall Street Seeks Disaster Declaration, FEMA Help

The Bush administration is said to be considering an appeal for a disaster declaration by officials at Lehman Brothers, AIG, Merrill Lynch and other Wall Street firms who said they need the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) to intervene in the wake of a “Category 5 liquidity crisis.”
A White House spokesman said President Bush plans to fly over the region later this afternoon to view the devastation in person, and has assured Wall Street CEOs that the U.S. stands ready to rescue their firms from the “ravages of capitalism”.
National Guard helicopters have already plucked dozens of investment analysts and stock traders from Manhattan rooftops, and Fox News correspondent Geraldo Rivera has taken up a position at the front door of the Lehman Brothers building — his hair drenched in stock broker tears, his mustache buffeted by the gale-force winds that fleeing Lehman employees have stirred.
FEMA, already stretched thin from back-to-back relief efforts along the Gulf Coast, nevertheless stands ready to provide mobile housing units and sacks of cash to buttress the cracked walls of America’s financial markets.
Meanwhile, churches and other non-profit organizations nationwide have sent out pleas for donations to care for the millionaire displaced brokers, traders and analysts, many of whom failed to heed warnings to get out before the disaster hit.