Hypermiling idiots!

For those of you looking for ways to hypermile, stop reading now. For those who think I am going to blast the Toyota Prius you can quit now too.
Last week I made an 800 mile, all interstate trip down I-25 to attend my oldest son’s wedding in New Mexico. I must tell you that I drive a Ford Expedition with a 5.4L V8 and I can tow up to 9000 pounds safely if I so desire. I don’t. I feel extremely safe in my Maroon behemoth. It has all the creature comforts I need and it only has 375,000 miles on the odometer. I set the cruise control at 72MPH and listen to my 6 disc CD player with no disc having music newer than 1965 while cruising safely down the interstate until…….I come upon an idiot driving 50 miles per hour in a Ford Windstar, or a Chrysler Town and Country or some other family vehicle. Both hands gripped firmly at the ten o’clock and 2 O’clock positions while traffic backs up behind them. Going up a hill the speed drops to 45mph and a semi pulls out to pass and now both lanes are blocked with vehicles driving at sub 50 mile per hour speed. It is idiotic and unsafe! Now I feel I have to defend those of you who buy small cars for the economy. I was passed by two Toyota Prius’s while driving at a steady 72mph, along with untold VW rabbits, Nissans of all sorts and almost every kind of sub compact known to man including a Daewoo, whatever that is. Of course most of them were so small that they had a most inefficient carryall thingy hooked to the top of their car to allow them to carry even the smallest amount of luggage. If the airbags were to employ I am sure they would be pushed out the window like a leak in the bottom of a toothpaste tube. Why was it that the family wagon was the one trying to eak out that last drop of fuel economy and not the subcompact? Probably because the subcompact lived in fear that some monster SUV was going to run right over the top of them if at least they didn’t try to travel at highway speeds. So my hat is off to you, tiny car drivers, you were trying. As for the rest of you hypermiling idiots, maybe you could sacrifice a gallon or two per mile of fuel economy and when you get to your destination maybe order a Whopper Junior instead of a double Whopper. It will all equal out in the end and we all will be much safer on the highways.