John McCain reportedly has already laid plans to heal the nation’s political wounds, and to offer new hope to countless journalists and other liberals whose faith will have been shattered by the defeat of Barack Obama at the polls on November 4.According to an unnamed campaign insider, Sen. McCain’s “compassion for the multitudes who will suddenly be like sheep without a shepherd” has resulted in detailed plans for…
■a nationwide chain of in-patient Obama recovery centers,
■community-based 12-step groups, and
■fast-track FDA approval for a post-Obama patch (a wearable mix of sugar, Koolaid and a mild steroid) designed to “help the user through the rough spots after losing his hope for change.”
A top Democrat strategist today acknowledged that colleagues have discussed privately what they would do in the “doomsday scenario” of an Obama loss, but they’ve dealt with the threat by “simply putting it out of our minds and focusing on the transition plan for his ascension to the White House. Anything Barack can conceive, we can believe. Yes, we can.”
The strategist added that transition planning has been much easier this year because “most of the research has been done, and we’re just revising and synthesizing the transition plans we have on file for Walter Mondale, Michael Dukakis, Al Gore and John Kerry. In other words, we already know how long the drapes need to be.”
No comments:
Post a Comment